Opinion | Men and Women, Together and Solo

Opinion | Men and Women, Together and Solo

To the Editor:

Re “Less Marriage, Less Sex, Less Agreement,” by Nicholas Kristof (column, May 30):

Women’s discontent with marriage just isn’t new; it simply turned extra apparent as a result of the supply of each contraception and abortion freed girls to specific their discontent by both not marrying or not remarrying.

Recently the variety of girls who’re selecting to not marry has reached a degree that’s alarming to those that change into anxious when the ability of conventional hierarchies weakens.

So it’s not shocking {that a} outstanding characteristic of the MAGA motion is an effort to bully girls again into dependency by appointing Supreme Court judges prepared to revoke their entry to abortion and maybe additionally contraception.

This bullying will get dressed up in spiritual rhetoric that ignores the apparent fact that our freedom of faith should all the time embrace freedom from others’ spiritual convictions.

The solely option to have a satisfying marriage is for each companions to need to be in it. Mr. Kristof is true to emphasise the necessity for males and marriage to alter, not for girls to lose the flexibility to decide on what sort of life they need.

Susan Stewart
Broomfield, Colo.
The author is a retired marriage and household therapist and a co-author of “Flying Solo: Single Women in Midlife.”

To the Editor:

I share in Nicholas Kristof’s lament that our society is more and more cynical about romance and marriage, and I used to be disenchanted to learn that so many ladies consider that males are merely incapable of participating in a joyful and equal partnership. Is my fantastic husband actually such a rarity?

In our 15-year relationship, I’ve by no means as soon as questioned the worth of our dedication. He is my companion, confidant and cheerleader. We handle our family as a group, divvy up duties and make joint choices about our son’s care. We discuss the whole lot underneath the solar. Over dinner, we share what we’re grateful for.

Certainly, it’s true that some males are apathetic, others violent and merciless, and ladies deserve and may demand higher. But there are actual winners on the market, too. Men who present up, do the dishes, hug their kids and love their companions.

I hope future generations should not so jaded as to dismiss the opportunity of soul mates, of all sexual orientations. I hope that sometime, somebody someplace offers my son an opportunity to point out that he’s candy, honest and supportive, identical to his dad.

Olivia V. Sanderfoot
Los Angeles

To the Editor:

Rather than repeated paeans to conventional marriage and monogamy and constant bemoaning of contemporary society’s inexorable transfer away from each, society wants new myths, fashions and establishments to help and applaud trendy, brave and pioneering women and men who select fulfilling lives with out a everlasting lifetime companion.

Nicholas Kristof may take into account using his appreciable intelligence and creativeness in service of this want.

Roliff Purrington

To the Editor:

Re “America’s Military Is Not Prepared for War — or Peace,” by Roger Wicker (Opinion visitor essay,, May 29):

Senator Wicker’s proposal to plow tons of of billions of {dollars} right into a lavishly funded high-tech arms competitors with China over the subsequent few years is deeply misguided. It may make a devastating warfare between two nuclear-armed superpowers extra seemingly even because it diverts funds from different pressing nationwide wants.

As I famous in a paper I wrote for the Brown University Costs of War Project final 12 months, the United States spends roughly twice as a lot on its army as China does, and it far outpaces the nation in numbers of nuclear weapons, superior fight plane, transport programs and complete naval firepower.

The wild card is the race for hypersonic weapons and autonomous weapons programs managed through synthetic intelligence, the place relative U.S. and Chinese capabilities are tougher to find out. But that is exactly why dialogue about whether or not and find out how to deploy these harmful new applied sciences is most urgently essential.

Cooperation between the United States and China can be important if we’re to handle probably the most urgent threats to our widespread future, from local weather change to pandemics to world inequality. Doubling down on a militarized coverage towards Beijing is the worst attainable option to preserve the peace within the a long time to return.

William D. Hartung
New York
The author is a senior analysis fellow on the Quincy Institute for Responsible Statecraft.

To the Editor:

Re “Doctors Are Still Figuring Out Adult A.D.H.D.” (Science Times, May 28):

As a psychiatrist who has handled many grownup instances of A.D.H.D., I recognize your considerate article. One issue not talked about within the problem of creating a prognosis is the affected person’s response to medicine. While the person signs of A.D.H.D. should not distinctive to that situation, if a ample variety of them are current to recommend the prognosis, a drugs trial can present helpful info.

The only drugs are some types of the stimulants Adderall and Ritalin. But sufferers with A.D.H.D., given their physiology, are much less more likely to expertise the stimulant results of those drugs; they as a substitute expertise improved consideration and group. Therefore, a affected person’s capacity to comfortably tolerate the medicine might be a further diagnostic clue.

Regarding coexisting circumstances, like substance use dysfunction, despair or anxiousness, these circumstances are sometimes a consequence of A.D.H.D. Especially in sufferers who should not but recognized with A.D.H.D., the obvious misuse of stimulants resembling cocaine can characterize an try at self-medication to handle the signs of A.D.H.D.

Also, extra consideration must be paid to the emotional penalties of undiagnosed A.D.H.D. The frustration of making an attempt to perform within the presence of A.D.H.D. signs can usually have an effect on one’s sense of self and might contribute to anxiousness or despair, or each.

Bruce Cody Fisher
San Francisco

To the Editor:

Re “The Trump-Oprah Voter,” by Kristen Soltis Anderson (Opinion visitor essay, May 28):

Ms. Anderson’s evaluation of Donald Trump’s attraction doesn’t deal with the general public’s duty in electing such an individual to the presidency. The “energy of celeb to form public opinion” is the first challenge that must be explored. It appears the American voter would slightly be entertained than deal with the problems that have an effect on their lives.

The former president just lately stated there can be a “blood tub” if he wasn’t elected. He additionally just lately stated that “any Jewish person who votes for Democrats hates their faith.” The rhetoric that Mr. Trump makes use of to castigate opponents is interesting to the uneducated.

When Mr. Trump stated immigrants are “poisoning the blood our nation,” I anticipated an informed public to unequivocally reject and condemn such nonsense. When he and his supporters say “make America nice once more,” an informed public ought to ask what precisely which means. Mr. Trump’s infantile name-calling and disparagement of others must be examined as irresponsible political rhetoric.

When he makes such feedback as “the risk from exterior forces is way much less sinister, harmful and grave than the risk from inside,” it’s incumbent upon voters to debate the proof that helps such an assertion. Mr. Trump wouldn’t be a professional political determine with an enlightened public.

Larry Hoffner
New York



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